On Abuse and Amber Heard

Content advisory: I talk about being an abuse survivor.

I will readily admit to not paying much attention to the Depp/Heard suit; the things celebrities get up to are not typically of interest to me. However, thanks to Cancel Me, Daddy, the one podcast I listen to near-religiously, I understand quite well what was going on with it at the macro level.

I am an abuse survivor; though the abuse I suffered was primarily institutional neglect, I was also physically and emotionally abused. Texas law permits corporal punishment by school administrators, and I had regular encounters with the principal of my elementary school during first grade, and much less frequent ones for the remainder of my time at that school. I will never, ever forget the last day of first grade, either. We had an ice cream social. Every single other student got an ice cream cone. I got only a cone.

So naturally I was inclined to take Heard’s side, especially considering that I know that Depp has a history of shitty behaviour (though not inherently shitty, he was drunk throughout filming of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which is in and of itself not a good sign). His reputation in the 90s was of being “the bad boy” of Hollywood, as well.

Even without that, though, I look at what this suit was about, and I look at the suit Depp lost in the UK against The Sun. “If you throw a stone in to a pack of dogs, the hit dog will holler” applies to what Heard had said that Depp took offense to. Moreover, I understand how abusers think and operate; see above re being an abuse survivor. Combine that with the tactics his lawyers pursued, the failure of the judge to have the jurors sequestered during the trial, and other issues with the case… Well, he successfully gaslit a jury and a bunch of leftists who talk a lot about being feminists without walking the walk.

For all that, Depp is a victim too. The abuse he suffered, however, was not from Amber Heard, but rather Hollywood, like a lot of child stars. Doesn’t give him the right to cancel his victim, though.