Exhaustion

Between last week being the (second) anniversary of my dad’s death and developments in the US and elsewhere, I’m feeling…overwhelmed, I think, is the word I want. And I don’t know what to do about it, so I’m just going to list off the shit I’m dealing with.

  • The Wi Spa incident, which was manufactured by transphobes in order to protest the spa’s trans-friendly policies.
  • The Democrats have repeatedly failed to rise to the moment, as among other things:
    • They trimmed a $2000-check promise down to $1400, a promise made after $600 checks already went out, claiming that $600 plus $1400 equals the promised $2000.
    • They continue to seek bipartisanship despite McConnell being very clearly opposed to working with them, which means that…
    • the Equality Act will likely omit the queer rights and protections that form the bulk of the bill,
    • voting rights are in peril because the Voting Rights Act won’t pass with the filibuster intact, and it’s necessary to overturn the wave of voter suppression laws Republicans have passed this year,
    • the $3.5 trillion infrastructure deal has been significantly watered down to the bipartisan version which omits necessary infrastructure,
    • Black Lives Matter has mainly resulted in, at the national level, a push to give police more money despite plenty of video evidence of police brutality,
    • and the SSI Restoration Act is unlikely to pass, either, in this political environment.
  • The Olympics are being held in the midst of a pandemic, with racist and ableist consequences for athletes who would have otherwise performed. ( could have ended the previous sentence after ‘held’, frankly. Or ‘pandemic’.)
  • MAGAts are moving in to Wyoming so they can oust Liz Cheney for daring to stand against Trump.
  • The Department of Justice is failing to prosecute Trump associates for their crimes, including politicians who were involved in the 6 January insurrection.
  • Because of the Wi Spa incident, I feel like I need to be armed if I want to go unmasked in public. (And I don’t mean a face mask, just to be clear.)
  • Because I follow a lot of trans people on Twitter, I end up seeing whatever the transphobes are up to on a daily basis.
  • I still don’t have a formal diagnosis for ADHD, nor any expectation that I’ll be able to get one. (I have a lead, but I’ve been afraid to follow it in case the answer is “haha have a lot of money up front”.) Nor do I have documentation for my autism diagnosis from 1999. Without this, no therapist wants to talk with me about it.
  • It is not possible for me to live independently basically anywhere in the US, particularly if I want to start a woodworking business.
  • Still working on bringing my eye pressure under control, since a cornea specialist I saw a couple weeks ago says we can do new cornea transplants if I manage to do so. I want to get the left eye taken care of, at least, since at the moment it’s not really useful for much.

I’m sure there’s other shit I could put in the list, but this is quite enough to be getting on with.

personal